Computer Stupidities - CDs and CDROM Drives

Confusion about CDROM drives is enhanced further by the fact that they are so similar in appearance and function to 5 1/4" floppy disk drives and accept information stored on a commonly recognized medium.

A lady bought a computer from us. About a month later, she came in and asked us to install a sound card which can support CDROM drives. So we installed a SoundBlaster Pro for her. A week later, she brings the machine in and starts ragging us out because her CDROM drive isn't working, and "It won't eject the disk."

I look at the computer. "But you don't have a CDROM drive!" I exclaim. She points at the 5 1/4" disk drive and says, "What kind of computer salesman are you? Can't even recognize a CDROM drive when you see one?"

It seems she had decided her 5 1/4" floppy drive was in fact a CDROM drive, and since the CD fit in quite nicely, it had to be a CDROM drive.

Long and short of it: the drive was destroyed, the CD was destroyed, and all the technicians were laughing for a few hours.

Customer: "I just got this CD of Internet software in a gaming magazine. How do I install it on my Sony PlayStation?"

One of our clients ordered an Quadra 840AV, but they did not want the internal CD which comes standard in that box. No problem, I took the CD out before I delivered it to the customer. However I did not have the blank bezel with which to cover the opening. I set the system up for them, gave them a quick lesson on its ins and outs, and told him I would be back in a couple of days to replace the bezel.

I returned two days later, opened up the case of the 840 to install the new bezel and found about a dozen slips of used post-it note papers. Upon asking the operator about it I was told that she had put them in there because she thought that the original CD bezel, with it's long slim opening, looked like one of those trash recepticles they have on the ATM machines.

Customer: (rather irate) "Your install CDROM doesn't work!"

Tech Support: "What error message are you receiving?"

Customer: "It says, 'File not found'."

I verified that he is typing the correct command to run the install program. He is.

Tech Support: "Double click on the 'My Computer' icon."

Customer: "Ok, got it."

Tech Support: "Now double click on your CDROM drive icon."

Customer: "Ok. It says, 'File not found or device not ready'. Maybe I should just cancel my service since it's not working and go with another company!"

Tech Support: "Sir...did you put the CDROM in the CDROM drive?"

Customer: "Um, no. Do I have to do that?"

A client phoned up complaining that her PC had frozen with the cursor in the middle of the screen. The keyboard seemed locked as well so we couldn't kill the offending application. So I told her to switch off her computer and turn it back on again. After about twenty seconds she said it came back on and it was still frozen. I asked if she switched it off properly or if she just switch off the monitor. And she assured me that it was the computer she switched off. We did this again, just to be sure, and this time it only took five seconds to turn back on, still frozen. So I knew she was hit the monitor button. I asked the question again, and she got a little uptight, saying there was only one button, and that's what she's pressed.We discussed TV-like items on her desk, and I asked if there was something else on or around her desk. After the list of pens and pencils and other assorted desk supplies, she mentioned her "CD holder."On a hunch I asked if this "CD holder" was two feet tall and beige. Sure enough it was. We switched it off and on, and it worked. She honestly thought the computer was just a place to keep her Windows CD.

Customer: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"

Tech Support: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"

Customer: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"

Tech Support: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"

Customer: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."

Tech Support: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"

Customer: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotion. It just has '4X' on it."

At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CDROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.

I once had a customer who had been trying to put his CD in his computer. He didn't have a CDROM drive so, naturally, the task was difficult. He could not figure it out, and finally ended up opening his system to try to put it in a card slot.

I spent ten minutes explaining what his disk drive was and that he did not, in fact, have a CDROM drive. I sent a disk to him and explained how it goes in the system. When I was finished, I went in to the bathroom and laughed for about five minutes straight. Hysterical, uncontrollable laughter.